God, Please Save These Troubled States

It's not often that I agree with Corolla, but he has a pretty great point. Plus, Allred annoys the shit out of me.

Story:

This morning Gloria Allred, who represents four "victims" of Michael Richards, made a phone call to Adam Carolla. Blabs about her judge mediation deal (Richards "needs to suffer"), Adam brings up the point that what if these people were fat instead of black. Gloria says she wants to stay focused on the issue of race, as there's not enough discussion of racial issues in society. Adam questions whether compensation is appropriate. Gloria argues that this could possibly be a career enhancer for Richards, a la Hugh Grant. Adam thinks he's being punished already.

Gloria asks Adam if he thinks her clients are victims and then it starts to get heated...


ADAM: I don't know how to decide who's a victim and who isn't by words that are said to them, because that's up to them.

GLORIA: Well, it seems to me that's easy.

ADAM: No, it's not easy. It's easy for you because you want money. If somebody calls me a cracker and I'm very hurt by that, then maybe I'm a victim. If someone calls me a cracker and it doesn't bother me, then I'm not a victim. So I can't tell you who's a victim. I can tell you who's a victim of arson, I can tell you who's had a bone broken, I can't tell you who's been victimized by words.

GLORIA: Then I suggest with all due respect that maybe you should review a little bit about civil rights and how African-Americans have been taunted and hurt by use of the N-word, which is WHY WE DON'T USE THE FULL WORD ANYMORE because we know that it is hurtful.

ADAM: Well, many black comedians use the full word on stage.

GLORIA: And with all due respect, if you think you could compare the hurt that a white person would feel as a result of the use of the word "cracker" against him and the hurt and African-American would feel by the use of the N-word, you think there's some equivalency between that? Give me a break!

ADAM: Well what about if I'm morbidly obese and someone calls me a fatass?

GLORIA: Okay, again you have...first of all, morbid obesity is a physical condition and you know, I'd hope no one would make fun of anyone on a count of that.

ADAM: Well they did in my hypothetical question, so please address it.

GLORIA: I'm telling you, I want to focus on racial issues.

ADAM: Oh, because you know this would hurt your argument, that's why you don't want to address it.

GLORIA: No, because I think --

ADAM: Of course if you had a logical answer for my hypothetical question, you would give it at this point, but you don't, so you won't.

GLORIA: Well, you know what? If you would like some free legal advice --

ADAM: You can't answer a hypothetical question? Gloria Allred, you're not capable of answering a basic hypothetical question?

GLORIA: Well, you know what? I don't need to be answering that on your show when I want to talk about racial --

ADAM: Of course, because you have no answer. Because you have an answer that would hurt your argument.

GLORIA: You obviously don't think that issue's important enough

ADAM: Oh, there you go. That's right, imply I'm a racist. That's a good way to get out of not answering a very basic question.

GLORIA: I didn't say you were a racist.

ADAM: Very smart card you played, Gloria Allred. Every time somebody has a question, every time somebody has logic to corner you, you play the race card and get them on the run.

GLORIA: There's no race card here in play.

ADAM: It's not gonna work. Either answer the question or I'm gonna get off the phone.

GLORIA: Thank you very much, goodbye.

Ha, PWN3D maybe?