God, Please Save These Troubled States

George Lucas' upcoming Star Wars series, which spans the world between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, won't be showing up in theaters. Instead, Lucas has made a deal to run 100 $1 million episodes in the form of an ongoing television series. Do you want to see a Star Wars television show?

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After the Oscars Liveblog did so ridiculously well, I thought I'd begin to liveblog another TV show I follow: LOST.

I apologize to those who live on the east coast, since I won't be able to blog with you. But you are all welcome to go nuts and live-comment below!

WARNING: IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN TONIGHT'S EPISODE, MASSIVE SPOILERS ARE AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN FOREWARNED.

Tonight's synopsis:

Sayid and Desmond hit a bit of turbulence on the way to the freighter, which causes Desmond to experience some unexpected side effects.

Flash forward focus: Desmond


Live blogging has begun!!!!

8:46PM: OMG I CAN'T WAIT. I haven't read any of the comments yet. SPOILERZZZZZ.

9:00PM: This is already starting off well. And creepy.

9:02PM: WHAT THE FUCK??? Desmond is flipping through time again???

9:03PM: Holy lord, what's going on? What's happening to Desmond?

9:06PM: Juliet is awesome. I'm glad they're addressing the weird time perception issue.

9:09PM: Well, this is the most ridiculously confusing episode I have ever seen.

9:11PM: THIS HAS TO STOP. MAKE IT STOP SWITCHING BETWEEN REALITY AND DESMOND'S WEIRD PAST.

9:12PM: "It's happening to you too, isn't it?" AHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL.........

9:16PM: OMG SPEAKER PHONE CONFERENCE. Electromagnetism????

9:18PM: Richard has just informed me that this other crazy guy on the boat was in Hackers. He indeed was.

9:20PM: OMG phone call with Penny!!!!!

9:21PM: This insane call with Daniel Farraday is amazing. I love this show so much.

9:22PM: Desmond has to find Daniel in 1997.....I'm dead from awesome. TIME TRAVEL! ALTERNATE UNIVERSES!

9:27PM: Daniel Farrady is my new favorite character.

9:29PM: This scene at Oxford is just so awesome. I am so happy that this show is addressing such an odd theory.

9:32PM: Hahahha, what worked???

9:33PM: Mind time travel????? OHMYGOD MY HEAD JUST EXPLODED.

9:34PM: Penelope was calling the boat. That's it, I can't handle this anymore.

9:40PM: NO ELOISE IS DEAD. NO NO NO NO NO. DESMOND CAN'T DIE.

9:43PM: No communication with the mainland? I also don't trust this George. But the "friend" on the boat? I bet it's Ben's man on the boat too. Michael, anyone???

9:44PM: THE BLACK ROCK. HANSO. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. MR. WIDMORE IS IN THE AUCTION TOO!!!!!!! HOLY FUCK MY HEAD IS GONE.

9:46PM: I bet the journal that Mr. Widmore bought has news about the island. That's why Widmore bought it. That's why A Hanso has it.

9:48PM: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP BLEEDING!!!

9:55PM: GIVE HIM THE PHONE NUMBER!!!!

9:56PM: It's so weird that it's Christmas Eve in Lost World.

9:57PM: Oh lord, is Desmond going to actually speak with Penny????? I'll cry.

9:58PM: OMG THIS IS THE BEST SCENE IN LOST HISTORY. I THINK I'M CRYING WITH JOY!!!!!

10:00PM: So what does this mean? Is Penny going to find them?

10:01PM: Desmond is Daniel's constant. Also, next week looks amazing. Also, without a doubt, that was probably my favorite episode of LOST ever.

A Juno sequel has found its way onto eBay in the form of a screenplay. However, it's not written by Diablo Cody and director Jason Reitman has nothing to do with it. But you can purchase the screenplay, written by an anonymous screenwriter, for just $100,001.

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Two summer blockbusters, The Incredible Hulk and X-Men Origins: Wolverine, have released new promotional images to Empire magazine. These are complete glimpses of Edward Norton as Bruce Banner and Hugh Jackman, reprising his role as Wolverine.

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During a showing of the paranoid horror film, The Signal, two attendees were stabbed in the arm by an unknown third man. Even weirder, as soon as the film resumed playing, the first scene contained a man getting stabbed. Did a movie inspire someone to violence?

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The first glimpse of The X Files movie sequel was given to attendees of this year's WonderCon over the weekend. At a panel attended by David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson (who apparently haven't aged), not much was revealed in terms of plot. But we did get to see Mulder and Scully on screen for the first time in 6 years.

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A surprisingly funny Oscar ceremony, hosted by Jon Stewart, has yielded many wins for No Country For Old Men. If you're wondering who won in every category, we've got the full list of every winner. You can check out the results of the 2008 Academy Awards right here!

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LIVE BLOGGING HAS BEGUN!!!

To see our gallery of all the celebrities on the red carpet, visit our Red Carpet Gallery right here. I will be updating it as the Oscars continue.

4:15PM: Just switched on ABC. Regis Philbin is on. I was unaware he was still alive.

4:21PM: The commentary on Diablo Cody is maddening. Just say she's PuNk RaWK11!1!1~``!!~! or something.

4:27PM: Saoirse Ronan is SO RIDICULOUSLY ADORABLE. Also, Jessica Alba is NOT TALENTED. DO NOT DESCRIBE HER AS SUCH. And did he just call her "polished up"? She's not an oak table, douchebag.

4:33PM: Did George Pinacchio just ask Marion Cotillard if she's gonna do more roles that make people cry? Shoot me.

4:39PM: I like Tommy Lee Jones. I have I said that before? Also, these interviews are so awkward.

4:41PM: OHMYGOD. DANIEL DAY LEWIS. MEGASWOON.

4:51PM: DID GEORGE PINACCHIO JUST ASK VIGGO MORTENSEN'S NIECE IF SHE SAW HIS MOVIE? HE KNOWS THAT VIGGO IS NUDE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES IN IT, RIGHT? Someone fire that guy.

4:55PM: Anyone notice how as soon as Julie Christie started talking about Guantanamo Bay, they cute to Hilary Swank? LOL. ALSO, Michael Moore is in the screen. This is so awkward.

4:57PM: Hey, Cate Blanchett. Come marry me. You are adorable.

5:01PM: Finally, the Oscars have actually started. Regis Philbin is 100 tims more tolerable than most of these other assholes.

5:04PM: "Edith Piaf died...." HAHAHAH. YES SHE DID, IDIOT. Oh my god, that was amazing.

5:09PM: Javier Bardem is mine.

5:14PM: YES DANIEL DAY LEWIS!!!!!!! Oh, he better win Best Actor or I'll be PISSED.

5:18PM: Hahahahah this old lady rules. "I LOVE PAUL NEWMAN. IS HE STILL ALIVE?"

5:23PM: Ellen Page is adorable. Also, did that girl just comment on Hilary Swank's back muscles? What the hell?

5:26PM: Jon Stewart is 'cold as a cucumber.' Just so you know, Regis Philbin, it's 2008, not 1952.

5:30PM: They're FINALLY starting. What is this CGI garbage? Someone needs to be fired.

5:32PM: JON STEWART!!!!!! Marry me!

5:34PM: Seriously, this awards show would blow Stewart hosting. Teen pregnany for the win!!!!

5:36PM: NORBIT JUST GOT PWN3D!!!!!!

5:41PM: GAYDOLF TITLER. Holy crap holy crap holy crap. I'm dead.

5:42PM: Alexandra Byrne just won the first Oscar for Best Costume Design!!!

5:50PM: I can't take a montage seriously with Celine Dion playing in the background. Anyone spot Daniel Day Lewis' win for My Left Foot?

5:52PM: Steve Carell just swore. Hahahahahahaha. TWICE! And the winner for Best Animated Feature Film is Ratatouille!!!

5:56PM: Wow, Katherine Heigl is nervous. The winner for Achievement in Makeup is La Vie En Rose. YAY!!!!!!

6:00PM: Amy Adams is singing, "Happy Working Song," from Enchanted. Goddamn, what a great singer. Also, this song is all about subjegation of women, isn't it? Kind of off-putting.

6:07PM: I feel it's damaging to my character to admit that I have a huge crush on Dwayne Johnson. Oh well. The winner for Best Visual Effects is The Golden Compass. HALLELUJAH. So glad Transformers lost.

6:10PM: The winner for Best Art Direction goes to Sweeney Todd! I'm glad; that film looked incredible.

6:15PM: Best Supporting Actor winner is Javier Bardem!!! YES YES YES YES YES!!!! Excellent choice.

6:23PM: THE SALUTE TO BINOCULARS AND PERISCOPES. THE SALUTE TO BAD DREAMS. This is incredible.

6:24PM: Was a song from August Rush really nominated? Really? I suppose I'll give this a chance.

6:28PM: Helen Mirren, you got served. Owen Wilson is presenting Best Live Action Short Film. The winner is Le Mozart Des Pickpockets.

6:32PM: The Oscar for Best Animated Short Film is Peter & The Wolf. Also, animated presenters are creepy. So creepy.

6:38PM: Wow, you guys are commenting a lot. Alan Arkin rules! The winner for Best Performance By An Actress in a Supporting Role is Tilda Swinton. Holy crap, what a surprise! I expected Cate Blanchett to be a shoe-in, but I'm stoked for Swinton. She was excellent in Michael Clayton.

6:40PM: Tilda Swinton just said, "nipple." LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. But now my buzz has been killed because Jessica Alba is up next. :( :( :(

6:44PM: The "always fantastic" Jessica Alba? Clearly, the announcer hasn't seen a single one of her films. I also think it's hilarious she doesn't announce a main category, though I'm bummed the behind-the-scenes winners don't get a proper announcement.

6:46PM: James McAvoy and Josh Brolin next to each other! SWOON! The winner for Best Adapted Screenplay is to the Coen brothers for No Country For Old Men! HELL YES!!!!

6:50PM: Oooooh. A lecture about the Oscars. Power Point?

6:52PM: Miley Cyrus...I can't get over the fact that your dad is Billy Ray Cyrus. Another Enchanted song? Bleh. Kristin Chenowith is a good singer.

7:01PM: I really love Jon Stewart. The baby joke ruled.

7:02PM: Holy crap, Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill rule. That was great. "I ALWAYS SAW MYSELF AS MORE THE HALLE BERRY TYPE." The Bourne Ultimatum is the winner for Best Sound Editing.

7:05PM: The winner for Best Sound Mixing is The Bourne Ultimatum. I was hoping Halle Berry would win.

7:09PM: If Halle Berry/Jonah Hill came back out again instead of Forrest Whittaker, I think I would have died laughing. But Whittaker is definitely ok with me. The winner for Best Performance By An Actress in a Leading Role is Marion Cotillard. I could not be more happy!

7:18PM: The Wii bit was so wonderful. Colin Farrell looks great. Why haven't I seen Once yet?

7:22PM: Oh man. There Will Be Blood better not get robbed for Best Picture. Also, I get the feeling Jack Nicholson sees this as one giant joke. I like that.

7:27PM: After a garish montage of Best Picture winners, we're totally teased because THEY'RE NOT ANNOUNCING THEM. WHAT THE FUCK, OSCARS???

7:29PM: The winner for Best Editing is The Bourne Ultimatum.

7:31PM: Aw, a dedication to Robert Boyle, winner of Honorary Oscar.

7:36PM: I don't think Nicole Kidman ages. God, she is so beautiful. Too bad she's wearing a spiderweb for a necklace.

7:42PM: Penelope Cruz! So beautiful! The winner for Best Foreign Language Film is The Counterfeiters. Man, I really want to see this movie. And not the American remake that's in the works.

7:48PM: What song was that? I think I fell asleep. I imagine only 65 year olds enjoy that. The winner for Best Original Song is "Failing Slowly" from Once. Wow, they beat 3 Enchanted songs. Congrats!

7:57PM: I love Jon Stewart even more for bringing Marketa Irglova to give her full speech. <33333

7:59PM: Cameron Diaz is awesome. I CAN DO THIS. The winner for Achievement In Cinematography is Robert Elswit for There Will Be Blood.  FINALLY. SOMEONE IS RECOGNIZING TWBB. BEST MOVIE EVER.

8:01PM: Hillary Swank is introducing this year's In Memoriam. Roscoe Lee Brown! Oh, man, so much sadness. :(

8:04PM: Oh man, Heath Ledger and Ingmar Bergman. :( :( :(

8:09PM: The winner for Best Original Score is Dario Marianelli for Atonement. Johnny Greenwood was robbed!

8:12PM: The winner for Best Documentary Short Subject is Freeheld. I am so happy this won, as it addresses such an important subject: human rights for same-sex couples.

8:17PM: The winner for Best Documentary Feature is Taxi To The Dark Side. Please rent this film as soon as you can. You must see it.

8:24PM: The winner for Best Original Screenplay is Diablo Cody for Juno! YES YES YES YES!!!! Look how cute Ellen Page is!

8:27PM: I can't decide who's speech I enjoyed more: Marion Cotillard or Diablo Cody.

8:30PM: BEST ACTOR. I CAN HARDLY WAIT.

8:32PM: DANIEL BETTER WIN. ALL CAPS.

8:34PM: The winner for Best Performance By An Actor in a Lead Role goes to Daniel Day Lewis! ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!

8:37PM: DANIEL DAY LEWIS JUST DRANK YOUR MILKSHAKE. HE DRANK IT UP!

8:41PM: I know I'm biased for There Will Be Blood, but I want Paul Thomas Anderson to win. But I'd be ok with the Coen brothers or Tony Gilroy.

8:43PM: The winner for Best Director is the Coen Brothers for No Country For Old Men. Very good choice!

8:45PM: WHY HELLO THERE DENZEL WASHINGTON. You can show me your Best Picture. (Sorry.)

8:46PM: The Best Picture of the Year is No Country For Old Men. I think There Will Be Blood should have one, but DDL got his Best Actor award, so I'm ok with this.

Fanboys, which chronicles four Star Wars fans breaking into the Skywalker Ranch to steal a copy of The Phantom Menace for their dying friend, is receiving a heavy backlash from the fan community. Apparently, The Weinstein Company has taken everything out of the movie that made it original in order to appeal to a wider audience.

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Blonde Ambition, the complete failure of a film that stars Jessica Simpson and Luke Wilson, is a total success...in Ukraine. Despite averaging only $48 per screen in the U.S., the movie has beat out No Country For Old Men, Alvin & The Chipmunks, and Atonement in just one week.

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Michel Gondry's newest film, Be Kind Rewind, comes out today. Jack Black and Mos Def star as video clerks who must recreate classic films after the entire VHS rental collection is destroyed. And we've got all the videos and photos from the movie to inspire you to see the film!

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It's been a long time since a horror movie has done anything terribly original; while not perfect, The Signal is a refreshing take on the themes of paranoia and violence. Told through the eye of three separate directors, the film is literally like nothing I've ever seen.

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In perhaps the most mind-numbing announcement of all time, Universal Pictures is going to make movies out of such delighted games as Battleship, Monopoly, and Candy Land. Movies. Out of board games. Board games with little to no plot. God help us.

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The unfortunate rumor spreading around the web is that Warner Bros is incredibly unhappy with Spike Jonze's adaptation of Where The Wild Things Are. So unhappy, in fact,  that they want the entire film reshot. Do you think it's a good idea to trash the script and rewrite a whole new movie at this point?

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The world of zombie films is about to get a whole lot better: Max Brooks' World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War is being produced by Brad Pitt's Plan B Entertainment. There's no director or actors attached yet, but one of the most original zombie stories will soon be on the big screen!

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Despite being released Christmas day, Juno still continues to make nearly $6 million a week in theatres. It's more than halfway towards smashing the earnings of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And it only cost $7.5 million to make. Juno is a massive indie hit!

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At least that's what we're being told. The man behind such blockbusters as Independence Day, Godzilla, and the upcoming 10,000 B.C. is going to direct 2012. The movie references the date the Mayan calendar ends, which is supposed to be the end of the world. Um...The X Files, anyone?

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Amid a storm of blog posts across the Internet, the director of Where The Wild Things Are has responded to the exclusive clip one of our users leaked onto the web. Spike Jonze has said that the clip was a test for visual effects and won't actually appear in the film.

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Best news of 2008! Two separate sources (including Will Ferrell himself!) are reporting that Ron Burgundy wants to make a second film. That's right: an Anchorman sequel. Hallelujah! One of the most ridiculous and hilarious characters may return to the screen!

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After a (rightfully) disappointing box office show with Southland Tales, Richard Kelly (best known for his debut, Donnie Darko), is adapting Richard Matheson's short story, The Box. The story follows a couple who receive a mysterious box that grants them any wish...by then killing someone else.

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We're sorry, this clip is no longer available.

Check out Spike Jonez' response to the clip here

Yes, I'm scratching my head too. But it's a good thing. Ain't It Cool News is reporting that director Terry Gilliam will replace the late Heath Ledger with three separate actors: Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell, similar to how I'm Not There honored Bob Dylan.

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This is pretty neat; in anticipation of this year's Dreamworks animation adventure, Kung Fu Panda, the studio has created a widget that gives you a fortune every day. Open the fortune cookie to get a new prediction or piece of advice every time! (Don't pretend you're too cool for fortune cookies.)

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Well, this is a bummer. J.J. Abrams' upcoming entry into the Star Trek world has been pushed back until next year. The studio thinks it will make more money debuting before the summer of 2009; most people think Abrams is actually making changes to the script now that the strike is over.

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This could possibly restore my faith in humanity: Paris Hilton's latest venture into film, The Hottie and The Nottie, has been given the dubious distinction of, "The Worst Film of ALL Time" by IMDB. It's as if the world is finally coming to their senses and rejecting this waste of space.

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Huzzah! Drinks all around! The Writers Guild of America voted 92.5% in favor of ending the strike after settling a deal with the producers. So what does this mean to you? Well, we've got the full list of television shows that will return to their seasons and which ones are no more.

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As if we really needed another reason to hate the demon that is Michael Bay, numerous sources are reporting that Bay refused to wait until the Writers' Strike was over to write Transformers 2. So he wrote it himself. Expect a script full of masturbating robots and explosions...times a million.

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You know, it's been a long time since Wes Craven made his own horror film; others have always directed his work and vice versa. Well, Craven says he's going to introduce a new "signature villain" into the horror lexicon with his next film, 25/8. Do you think Craven could successfully make a new horror villain?

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Unfortunately, this may postpone work on the upcoming Hobbit films. The estate of J.R.R. Tolkien has sued New Line Cinema for $150 million, claiming they haven't received any payments from the profits of the Lord Of The Rings films. Ouch!

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After being asked about the position of women in film during a recent interview, Natalie Portman really let loose. (And for a good reason.) She complained about the lack of intelligent and interesting roles available to women. Do you think she's justified in her conclusions?

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This is such good news! Sam Raimi's first horror film in a long time, Drag Me To Hell, has just added Juno star Ellen Page to its cast. Sure, there's no plot news. There are no other cast members. But it's Sam Raimi, horror, and Ellen Page. What more could you want?

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If all goes according to plan and the WGA approves the contract set forth by the producers, the 14 week long writer's strike will be over! The WGA tentatively approved the deal and is holding an emergency meeting later today to have it's members vote and to make an announcement.

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This clip further cements the fact that Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine) is, perhaps, the greatest child actress of our time. Watch as she tries to maneuver her way around her father (Ryan Reynolds) and get him to spill the beans about how he met her mother.

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Simply put, I'm at a loss for words. Rumor is that Rob Zombie is going to direct a reboot of the Conan The Barbarian series. After your brain explodes, try and comprehend the notion that Rob Zombie will remake a series that was horrific to begin with. Is the Apocalypse here?

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Fresh off the heels of completing his study of The Rolling Stones, acclaimed director Martin Scorsese will make a movie about the life and influence of Bob Marley, arguably the world's greatest reggae musician. The film has the Marley family's approval and is set to be released in 2010.

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It's inevitable that you'll be stuck on a date watching a movie you had no desire to see in the first place. But if your significant other is obsessed with romantic comedies, take them to see Fool's Gold because you might have a good time as well.

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In a surprising hint from director McG, Josh Brolin may be the next Terminator in Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins. That means Brolin would be sharing the screen with Christian Bale as John Connor. Which also means this movie might be incredible.

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Holy Lord, this is overwhelming! South By Southwest (SXSW) has expanded their coverage of up and coming cinema by showcasing 113 (!!!) new films this year. They'll debut the new Harold and Kumar flick, as well as the nerdy gambling flick 21.

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After a lengthy investigation by the New York City medical examiners, the results of the autopsy and drug test on Heath Ledger are in. Ledger died of an accidental overdose due to a lethal combination of sleep aids, anti-anxiety pills, and painkillers.

If you're looking for a ton of morbid detail about his death, look elsewhere. I am a fan of having tact in certain situations. (This one is a great example of that.)

Here's what we do know so far. (I have to take a screenshot because Buzznet's spam filters think I'm advertising for drugs.)

For those who are scratching their heads:

What a bummer. The truth is that Ledger was actually prescribed all of these drugs, but from two sets of doctors: one in the US and one in Europe. (London specifically, I believe.)

This is such a sad story. It's sad to think that Ledger was trying to alleviate some pretty obvious physical problems, but he ended up dying instead. :(

Now that the cat's out of the bag and a Cloverfield 2 is all but certain, director Matt Reeves has come out to discuss how exactly those involved with the first movie would pull off a second one. There won't be a second tape that intervenes with the first, so the nauseous are already sighing in relief.

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I know. I know. Take a deep breath before you freak out. Jason Bateman and Jeffrey Tambor have both confirmed calls from creator Mitch Hurwitz and producer Ron Howard, asking them if they'd be interested in an Arrested Development movie. The obvious answer is OF COURSE THEY ARE!

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This is, without a doubt, the strangest movie news of 2008. (So far.) Josh Hartnett's next project is--get this--inspired by Japanese puppet theater. Bunraku is about a gypsy and a dystopian world and has paper mache puppets in it. Yeah. We don't get it either.

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Squashing Harvey Weinstein's wishes to have an ongoing Rambo series, Sylvester Stallone has confirmed that he will not being making another Rambo movie again. His recent closure on the series, Rambo IV, has done well with fans, but not so well with critics. This is the end, then!

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Just in case you were worried that the Gates family wouldn't be off searching the globe for treasure, fear not! We have two more mediocre and predictable sequels on the way! Apparently, Nicholas Cage and company are off to find the lost City of Atlantis and end global warming in 'National Treasure 3." Huzzah!

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