God, Please Save These Troubled States

Your newest Photo Assignment comprises a phrase from one of my favorite songs from the Canadian band The Weakerthans. First, check out "Hymn of the Medical Oddity." Your musical phrase of inspiration? "And if they remember me at all, make them remember me as more than a queer experiment, more than a diagram in their quarterly." Let's get to it!

Full instructions for this week's photo assignment inside...

I don't know what it was about this week's assignment that caused so many of you to contribute; perhaps, at heart, we're all just a bunch of goth kids in hiding. Spooky! Taken from a line in a Bad Religion b-side, "What We Have Is Shattered Faith" inspired images of heartbreak, religion, pain, and redemption.

See how your peers responded to this week's Photo Assignment...

Beginning today, if you currently have the Legacy homepage, you'll have 20 days left before it automatically switches to our newly updated user homepage. The New homepage is just…

After much laboring and after letting our wonderful Music Guides give us some feedback, we would like to debut your new MyHomepages!




First off, to clarify,

I'm determined to use our Photo Assignments (we're on #20!!!!!) to get you guys to listen to some of the music I love, so this week's project is derived from a Bad Religion b-side, "Shattered Faith." The concept behind the lyrics are fascinating: what do we do in a world where our faith in the world and those around us is constantly destroyed?

See the full instructions to this week's Photo Assignment inside...

I first learned of Death Bed from Patton Oswalt and it's been a mission of mine to find it.



So, now that you have some reference point for my obsession, my Netflix came blessed by the hand of God this past Friday when Death Bed: The Bed That Eats arrived in my mailbox. I know there are (literally) thousands of people who have never seen this film and, because of Patton Oswalt, want to see it. I waited MONTHS for it to be available, so, as a gift, I will watch the film for you, providing a detailed and opinionated scene-by-scene analysis of the film.

It's for your benefit. Really. It is.

8:10pm: The movie has an introduction from the writer and director, George Barry. It's recorded in the same quality that I imagine the movie that follows this is shot in. He's sitting in front of a....desk? Bureau? Dresser? I don't know. Some piece of furniture that's displaying various action figures. I can make out Batman and....that's about it. Is that a Dr. Seuss character? Oh god, I don't know.

8:15pm: This guy is talking about how he found out about HIS OWN MOVIE while reading message boards ON THE INTERNET. I feel embarrassed for him.

8:24pm: I had to pause it while food arrived. The director is saying that the movie has a cult following??? No, we aren't following it. We just want to get hit by the FAIL VAN once and then never watch it again.

8:25pm: The director just said, "It's too late to return this." WHY ARE YOU TALKING.

8:26pm: The film has started. Black screen. Someone is eating an apple??? THIS IS SO ARTSY.

8:26pm: THE FIRST CHAPTER IS CALLED, 'BREAKFAST.' I cannot stop laughing.

8:27pm: I am pretty sure the bed is doing an opening monologue. He is British. Also, the bed looks so uncomfortable.

8:28pm: The couple approaching the house is having second thoughts. The actors are so dimly lit that it is impossible to tell if their lips are even moving.

8:29pm: DRAMATIC CLOSE UP SHOT OF A PILLOW. No. Seriously. It's supposed to be suspenseful.

8:30pm: I think the bed is personified by a British indie kid that no one can see. I am so lost. Also, the couple just broke into the house to make out.

Girl: "What did you bring to eat?"
Guy: "You hungry?"
Girl: [Bats eyes innocently]"It was a long walk."
Guy: PULLS OUT TWO APPLES, WINE, AND A BUCKET OF FRIED CHICKEN.

This is so absurd I can't even possibly make it up.

8:33pm: OHMYGOD GUYS. The bed just swallowed an apple in...acid? Urine? Then it took bites and RETURNED THE CORE. It's eating the chicken and the wine right now. This is seriously amazing.

8:34pm: Ok, when the bed eats something, it submerges the item in some kind of acidic fluid. However, the bed RETURNED THE EMPTY CHICKEN BUCKET. HASHHAHAHAsdajhf;aslfkhj;

Also, clothes are coming off. They are not the least bit concerned that their food was eaten.

8:35pm: NIPPLE!!!!

8:36pm. When the bed eats the two people who are sexin' on top of it, it makes the same sound as if it was eating an apple. Blood dripped down an arm and put out a candle! SO GOTH!

8:38pm: The bed is SNORING, guys. I am not lying. It also seems this indie kid speaks in third person without moving his mouth. Does that make no sense? Right, neither does this movie.

8:40pm: So, apparently the ghost in the bed buried himself alive while he was hungry, hence why he eats people. WHO WROTE THIS GARBAGE.

8:41pm: Everyone in this movie thinks aloud. No one moves their mouth or speaks in any normal sense. It's so irritating. Three female characters were just introduced. They're going to the Death Bed house. I don't know why.

8:42pm: CLOSE UP OF A GIRL BITING HER NAIL UNTIL IT BLEEDS. WHY.

8:45pm: A fourth character was introduced. British, too, but no body to accompany it. WHO IS THIS.

8:45pm: OHHHHH. The demon that haunts the bed lives behind a painting. Wait....how does that make sense?

8:47pm: "I don't sleep well at night." Well, what time DO you sleep? Also, WHO DOES THE FOURTH VOICE BELONG TO?

8:48pm: Holy lord, the bed BUBBLES and BREATHES HEAVY when a woman gets undressed next to it. this is so disturbing.

8:49pm: The girl on screen (who will clearly get eaten) just broke a mirror by looking at it. This movie does not have a good opinion about women.

8:51pm: I am so lost. They just introduced two characters that are somehow related to one of these girls? Now the girl on the bed is having a nightmare about eating rotten bugs and I'm pretty sure she just ate a real one.

8:52pm: The bed is removing the covers off the girl. NOW HER CLOTHES. Oh god, this bed is a drunken frat boy.

8:53pm: The bed is now moving the girl's chain necklace at such a high rate of speed that it is cutting her neck. This is the dumbest kill I have ever seen, especially when they cut to the neck shot and IT'S NOT BLEEDING. Also, why is she bleeding from the toes??????

8:54pm: NIPPLE!

8:55pm: The bed just dissolved all her skin through digestion, but, somehow, her hair survived the ordeal. Who is her stylist????

8:58pm: The bed just ate a rose, a wallet, and then, because of indigestion, PEPTO-BISMAL. 100% true.

8:58pm: Flashbacks are showing how the bed ate a priest while he was reading the Bible. Sacrilege!

8:59pm: The bed is eating an old woman reading a porn magazine called, "Oral Lesbians." I swear, I am not making this up.

9:00pm: THE BED JUST ATE A CRIPPLE. THIS MOVIE HAS NO BOUNDARIES.

9:01pm: The bed just refused to eat a couple in sex therapy. Wait, now it has morals????

9:02pm: NO ONE IN THIS MOVIE TALKS. Everyone thinks out loud.

9:03pm: So....there is an orgy happening on the bed? Oh, now the bed decides to eat everyone. How convenient!

9:04pm: There is a girl swimming around the bed's "stomach." And she looks like she's having a grand ol' time.

9:06pm: Two men are playing cards on the beds. One man sets his cards down on the bed and the bed CHANGES THEM TO ALL ACES and writes "HA-HA YOU ARE DEAD" on them. This bed is FULL OF SKILLS. Then it eats the guys, who SHOOT THE BED IN DEFENSE. Oh lord.

9:07pm: Oh my god! The indie kid is the artist who painted the painting he is...living behind? That's the source of the voice. Still makes no sense.

9:09pm: Ok, so a demon made the Death Bed to seduce a girl, but because he's a demon, he killed her. So his eyes shattered in sadness, bled onto the bed, and haunted it forever. Seriously, this is the most goth thing I have ever seen.

9:11pm: There is a bleeding shoe on screen. That is all.

9:14pm: I've stopped paying attention. We apparently skipped "Lunch," because it's on to the third chapter, "Dinner." No. Really. That's what the screen just said.

9:16pm: Girl on bed just lit a cigarette. The bed says, "Ooooh, nicotine. I haven't smoked in years." YOU ARE A FUCKING BED. YOU CANNOT SMOKE A CIGARETTE. Also, the girl just fell asleep while smoking and the bed MOANED IN DELIGHT when the cigarette hit the bed sheet.

9:18pm: Jesus, this is just what happened:

Girl 1: What have you been reading since I was lying here?
Girl 2: A book of dead people. I'm in it, and you are too. See for yourself!
Girl 1: I'm not in here.
Girl 2: BUT YOU ARE.

JKASDJKLADFSJKLAFSDWERIOPUJKL2349RWIOUDVJKLJK;

9:21pm: This girl has done the, "Oh, it was just a dream" thing three times in a row. Now she's being eaten and she's bleeding bright red craft paint that was clearely poured on top of her jeans, which are intact but somehow bloody.

9:22pm: OHMYGOD SHE ACTUALLY ESCAPED OUT OF THE BED'S MOUTH. She's currently dragging herself across the floor towards....stairs? Honey, you can't use your legs. Bad idea.

9:24pm: It's still the same shot of the girl trying to pull herself up give steps on a staircase. Also, she just used her left leg! BAD ACTOR.

9:25pm: She made it out and the bed literally used a sheet to whip out and grab her. I am not kidding at all. It is so hilarious.

9:26pm: If I wasn't looking at the screen, I'd be convinced this was a porno. Everyone moans that way in this film. WHY IS THIS SCENE STILL GOING

9:27pm: The bed just made itself. HOW KIND.

9:30pm: The brother of the first girl eaten just showed up. Let me guess: He will get tired and fall asleep on the death bed. Sigh.

9:32pm: The bed just spit out an eye. For no reason. I am so angry at this horrible movie.

9:33pm: The brother just stabbed the bed. The bed is now eating his hands.

9:34pm: OHMYGOD THE BEST SCENE EVER. The brother pulled his hands out and they are just skeleton hands and NOTHING ELSE. Also, they don't look the least bit concerned. No one is freaking out at all.

9:35pm: Brother says: "Great. The cartilage is decaying. They [his fingers] will fall off one by one." SIR. YOUR HANDS WERE DIGESTED BY A BED. THIS IS, LITERALLY, THE LEAST OF YOUR CONCERNS. It's not like you could use skeleton hands anyway.

9:36pm: The other girl is removing his hands as a courtesy. This apparently was painless.

9:37pm: THEY ARE BURNING HIS HANDS IN THE FIRE. I take it back, this is the best movie ever.

9:37pm: Chapter four is called, "The Just Desert."

9:39pm: The tortured indie kid painting is now telling the other girl how to kill the demon. She's currently cutting a "blood circle" around the bed and completing the circle with her brother's finger bones.

9:40pm: Hahahahahahahaha, turns out the painting fairy lied to the girl. Now she's going to die and resurrect the body of the girl the demon killed, apparently.

9:42pm: I looked away for maybe 15 seconds and now the bed is outside and on fire. Did someone die? Where did the flame come from? Can a demonic bed also teleport?

9:43pm: The Death Bed is now exploding. As if someone threw gasoline on it.

9:45pm: It's finally over. That was one of the worst movies ever made and everyone involved should sue the writer/director for ruining their lives.

This week's photo assignment, inspired by Thrice's song "The Earth Will Shake," caused Buzznet's photographers to imagine a life behind bars, longing to escape. We got 30 wonderful submissions this week, and there's only one way to see what your peers came up with!

Full results of this week's photo assignment inside...

This weekend, cities all over the globe held protests and rallies in support of the civil rights of gays here in the states. In case you didn't hear, three states voted to ban gay marriage: California, Arizona, and Florida. This has spawned a rather fervent and passionate group for activists, both experienced and first-timers, to take to the streets. Plenty of Buzznet members spent time this past Saturday protesting and we've got all their photos!

See all of the galleries inside....

I promised a new assignment soon! Here's your second photographic post for the evening and your new assignment for the weekend: "We Dream of Ways To Break These Iron Bars." The lyric comes from Thrice's Vheissu track, "The Earth Will Shake." So imagine the prison life (not hard for me!) and be inspired by oppression.

Full instructions for this week's photo assignment inside...

Are you ready for the double dosage of photo assignment goodness today? First, let's wrap up the results of this week's assignment, "Honored By Your Hatred." Taken from a line penned by Davey Havok of AFI, your fellow artists responded with varying interpretations of the theme. Check them out!

See how Buzznet responded to this week's photo assignment...

In light of the most awesome news that AFI are set to record their new record, this week's photo assignment will take inspiration from a single line in one of my favorite songs, "Malleus Maleficarum." Get your cameras out and bring your best ideas to the 18th (and kind of late) photo assignment: Honored By Your Hatred.

Full instructions for this week's photo assignment inside...

Yesterday afternoon, I attended the rally outside the Mormon temple on Santa Monica Blvd and Overland, in order to protest the Mormon church's involvement in helping to pass Proposition 8…

Unless you were living under a rock for the past 24 hours, Buzznet participated in a community liveblog about yesterday's Presidential election. And while it's still going, I wanted to highlight some of the genius, insightful, and hilarious comments provided by our members!

See what your peers had to see about the 2008 U.S. Election...

The time has come: the 2008 election is upon us. Some of us have been (literally) waiting years for this day. If anything, this has been one of the most emotionally charged and frantic campaigns in recent history. And not just for the Presidential race, either! So we've created a hub for all of you on Buzznet who will be active on November 4th: The most stupendous, ridiculous, and epic liveblog of all time.

See the liveblog insanity inside...

I can't imagine a better day to release the results of this week's politically-charged Photo Assignment. You were given a single line from an Adolescents song: "Is This What You Call Democracy?" And the Buzznet community responded!

See the full results of this week's photo assignment inside...